Updated: Aug 19, 2020
Earlier this week, I got called out (kindly) in pole class for a lack of confidence. My initial reaction was "pffft! I know myself well and I am right. It's not my mind, it's my body. I'm just not strong enough."
But, I gave it more thought. This year has been a struggle for me. Not necessarily in a bad way, but there's been a lot of change.
Rewind to about a year ago. I was unhappy with my job. It was a great, stable job. I didn't dislike the work or anything - I'd even say I enjoyed much of it. I just felt stuck and like I was going nowhere.
So I made changes.
The changes have been positive, I'm happy for them and have zero regrets. But that doesn't make it easy. I've had to learn a lot, which means failing a lot. New ventures mean lots of uncertainty, second, third and fourth guessing every decision, and still wondering if you've made the right choice.
I did not realize how much my confidence had been chipped away over the last year.
This situation is not unique to me. I know of many people in new situations struggling with their confidence. New moms unsure if they're doing it right; uncertain of their new identity. People in new jobs wondering if they made the right choice or out of a job and unsure of where to go next. People in new or ending old relationships. Trying new activities, unsure if they are good enough. Or simply feeling stuck where they are and wondering if there is a better option. The list is endless.
New situations will pose a challenge. And you may struggle.
Our society is struggle-averse. Struggle has become synonymous with weakness, so we lose confidence and start to feel unworthy when we struggle.
But struggle should not be a time to lose confidence. It should be a time to call on your confidence. You've overcome and conquered before, grown and become a better person because of it. You are not struggling because you are weak. You are struggling because you are taking on a new challenge, growing and becoming more.
Struggle should not be a time to lose confidence. It should be a time to call on your confidence.
Believe in the strength you've gained from all your past struggles. And use it to face, navigate and overcome this new challenge. You've got this!
I never in my life thought I would be quoting Kelly Clarkson, but here it goes:
"I know I'm superwoman, I know I'm strong I know I've got this 'cause I've had it all along
I'm phenomenal and I'm enough I don't need you to tell me who to be"
Believe in the strength you've gained from all your past struggles. And use it to face, navigate and overcome this new challenge.
Wherever you are in your journey, believe that you have everything you need. Call on your friends, family, pole peeps, whoever you need to support you. They don't need to "fix" your struggle. Sometimes you just need someone to hold space for you to share so you're not holding it all in and dealing with it alone. Transformation is scary.
I am beyond grateful for my friends and family who have supported me through all of my chaos. Those who love me through my sadness and joy, my failures and successes. And for the pole instructor who held belief in my strength for me until I was able to see it in myself.
Much love my friends. You're phenomenal.
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