Updated: Feb 14
Take a moment to yourself. Close your eyes. Think about your life. Your family, your friends, your hobbies, your job. How does it make you feel? Is there something that you want to change?
If you have something in your life that you'd like to change, do you feel like you have the power to change it? Do the people around you support you and help you to change?
This time, I'm going to talk with you about support systems. The people we surround ourselves with and how their beliefs and mindsets can influence us and possibly deter us from reaching our own potential.
I must say, I am honoured to lead an incredible group who seem to know that there is more for them. I see them constantly dreaming, taking action and moving forward, and in doing so, inspiring others to do the same. Many of our clients take big leaps in life, be it through new jobs, new education, new families, new experiences, new lifestyles and ways of life. We all seem to belong here because we are working towards transforming our lives to align with our values. I truly believe that our collective energy can make a huge impact in the world.
And it takes time.
Change is a process. When I talk about leaving my previous job, it sometimes sounds like I took a big daring leap and just trusted everything would be ok. While I did in a sense, it was almost 2 years from the day I was crying at my desk before 9am on a Monday morning (that was my concrete trigger that I really had to take action) until the day I left my job with a vague plan to do a 6-month post-doctoral fellowship with the research group at the National Circus School while managing a pole dance studio.
Change is scary. I 100% acknowledge that. The problem is that we don't really know what we're going to end up with at the end of it. Our mind likes to play games with us: "what if I already have the best and everything from here is worse?" I've for sure been there. And I assure you, crying at your desk at 9am on a Monday is not the best there is for you. I know this happens a lot with relationships too. We often feel like we need to settle, just in case we are already living the best-case scenario. I make no promises that change will make things better, but there is a good chance that with some effort, you can make a meaningful change that will elevate your life.
Change is hard. It requires effort. There's a beautiful ideal that we hold that is something is meant for us it will flow to us effortlessly. I do believe this in a sense. I believe that if there becomes a point when we are fighting against something, maybe it is time to let it go, but I also believe that if we want to change our lives, we have to change our habits. Which takes commitment and effort. I definitely know people who don't seem to work hard, so I may be off base, but I have personally had to work hard for the changes I've made in my life, so just in case you're more like me and less like them, I'd like you to be prepared that you may have to put effort into your dreams.
Change brings failure. This may be the thing that causes the most fear of change for many people. Change is risky and failure often accompanies risk. The good news is, you will learn from that failure, try again and improve. This may happen a few times before you finally get it right. Failures may look like not getting a job interview or job that you were hoping for, rejection after a date, not immediately conquering a new skill your are trying to learn. You will probably fail and it will cause you to grow and improve and with perseverance, it will lead you to incredible new things in life.
You may be asking right about now if I'm actually trying to encourage you to make changes in your life? So far I've told you that change is time consuming, scary, takes a lot of effort, and will probably result in failure. So why not just stay where you are?
That's where you get to make the decision. How satisfied are you with your life? How is your motivation in life? How is your life satisfaction and motivation influencing the people around you?
For me, I could have chosen to stay at my job. It was secure (as far as job security goes these days). It was a permanent, full-time job with benefits and an amazing pension. My work was interesting, but I essentially did the same thing over and over again. I was never going to reach my potential there.
One of the things that makes change so challenging is the people who surround us. I remember being essentially lightly bullied at one job because I went to the gym 3 evenings after work. While I was trying to make a positive lifestyle change, my co-workers liked to play a game of "could they keep me from the gym." They didn't succeed because 1) I paid for a personal trainer; 2) I was committed to my progress; and 3) I really didn't want to go spend more time with people who had completely opposite beliefs from me and were consciously trying to limit my potential. A couple of friends of mine have struggled with making the choice to become vegetarian because their friends were constantly on their case about not eating meat and joked about tricking them into eating meat to the point that they were actually worried that when they went to dinner parties, people would sneak meat into dishes they claimed to be vegetarian.
In our culture, people seem adamant that we all must follow the status quo. Oftentimes, people aren't trying to limit you, but are trying to protect you from the discomfort that you will undoubtedly encounter. Change and growth are not generally celebrated.
Unless you find the right people.
If you want to make a change in your life, whether it is a career change, relationship change, recreation change, dietary change - whatever it is - I highly recommend you find people who support your change to be around. It is almost guaranteed that you will be more often surrounded by people who try to stunt your growth (likely as a reflection of their own insecurities), so having a community that embraces all the tough things about change is invaluable.
One of the great things about the culture of Volair is that we embrace change and failure and growth and vulnerability and all the complex emotions that come up in the journey. Pole dance is all about transformation. It often starts when someone comes in "just to try something new" and continues through a process that develops a confident, strong, resilient woman who shines her unique light on the world and inspires others to rise up and do the same.
If there is something in your life that you are looking to change or grow, come join us at Volair. Whether you can join us in person or want to join our online community or receive our newsletters, we are happy to have you join and share your journey with us. We are cheerleaders for change and will support you and your growth.
Together, we can change the world.